It's hard to believe its been a whole year since I received that horrifying phone call saying that my grandmother had been suddenly killed in a car accident. It was strange because, as a senior in college, lots of people were familiar with losing grandparents, and though sad, it was not too uncommon amongst friends and people my age. My grandmother, Ma, had lived a bright and full life in her 86 years, but that does not change the fact that her death was completely unexpected. I had just seen her in Harbor Springs, Michigan (where my family has our beloved summer house) a few weeks before...she had taken me shopping at one of my favorite boutiques like she always did. It didn't cross my mind that this might be the last time. I think the shock made the loss that much harder to deal with.
So, today, its been a year. There have been countless times this year that I have missed my grandmother...the family christmas party, when I was deciding whether or not to come to Germany, my graduation, the July 4th in Harbor Springs without her, and lots of random days when I would have called her just to say hi...to name a few. But, strangely enough, the past few weeks have been some of the times I have felt the pain of her absence the most. She loved all things Swiss...from her family roots, to swiss chocolate, to traveling to the Alps...so it broke my heart not to be able to send her a postcard from Switzerland. I know she would be proud that I am spending a year in Germany, it's just hard that she isn't around to tell me that. Traveling was one of her favorite things, which has made her come to mind often in the last few weeks, only to feel an emptiness that cannot be filled and I cannot fill her in on all the cool places I've visited. While it is a comfort to know that Ma is in a better place, it is sad to me that she is not here to share the fun adventures of life with. I hope she is smiling down from heaven.
We all miss you, Ma.